I think they’re getting worse… What do you get from a vampire snowman? Frostbite!
Author Archive for: Ruth
About Ruth Fitzgerald
This author has yet to write their bio.Meanwhile lets just say that we are proud Ruth Fitzgerald contributed a whooping 34 entries.
Entries by Ruth Fitzgerald
Today I bought a teapot shaped like a Christmas pudding… What? What does someone who’s scared of Santa suffer from? Claus-trophobia!
I bought a Christmas pudding teapot today. That’s not the joke… What do snowmen do at the weekend? Chill out.
Chloe wouldn’t like this one. Do you know why? What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Can you smell carrots?
I made this up. You can tell. Who is the Penguin Prime Minister? Freezer May!
So, we’re in double figures on the advent calendar! Why was James Bond hiding in Santa’s toy factory? Because he was a mince spy. Look – I said they were jokes – I never said they were funny jokes..
Emily’s favourite breakfast is Cocoa Crispies – but she sometimes leaves them too long and gets Cocoa Soggies instead. What’s a *snowman’s favourite breakfast? Ice Crispies! *This also applies to snowwomen, showgirls and snowboys.
To celebrate everything Christmassy and Christmas-ish and Christmas-like, I’ve written a special Emily Sparkes short story called Emily Sparkes and the Wonderland Worries. It’s completely FREE to read and download. Hoorah! In the story, Emily and her friends head off to the local park which has been transformed into a ‘Winter Wonderland’ – or has […]
Blame my daughter again… What is green and croaky and hangs from the ceiling at Christmas? Mistletoad!
Chloe likes jokes that involve shopping. Chloe likes anything that involves shopping… Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer!